When I say someone that I am not so fond of kids, I have always got a shocking reaction. As soon as this sentence goes out of my mouth, I see the listeners eyes widen with a shock for a split of a second and then they mask their shock by acting normal. Yes! It is a crime in India for not liking kids especially if you are are a female. We are all human beings and everyone is different from others and so are our likes and dislikes. Just because I am not like most of them and my thinking is not a replica of yours, doesn't mean I am insane. I know that not many of them will not appreciate what I am writing here but this is a fact.
I remember, soon after a few months of my marriage, people commenting that they want to see a baby before my first wedding anniversary, in an attempt of being humorous. Then, I had no other option other then giving them a fake smile and ignoring them. Now, I am 29 years old female who is been married for 4 years and peoples expectations from me are going on increasing that I am going to provide them a baby at any moment. Do we really get married just to produce babies? Huh!!!
No! I was not ready 4 years back, nor I am ready today to have a baby. But, the entire world is and was always ready for my baby. The people who are constantly waiting and expecting my baby, are they going to come and take care of it when it comes out. Are they going to wake up all night long and change the baby's diaper? Or are they going to pay its school fees? None are going to do any of it, yet all they want is my baby.
I have literally not understood till date, why people are so much into producing a new human being. I mean what is the use? Just bring a new human into this world and have a hell of a expectations from him. As if your existing never ending expectations from everyone around you were not enough?
The pressure is so much on me, that a few days back I had even started to Google 'Cute kids pictures' so that at least by looking at few cute children I would be able to cope up my mind for a baby. I also talked with some of the new mothers around me about the feeling of having a child, so that listening to their good experience even I would feel to have one. I did efforts but, no its not working. I am not able to make up my mind to carry a little moving human creature inside by body. It scares the shit out of me man.
A few days back I was talking to one of a lady near my house. She asked me about my kids. I said I don't have one yet. Her reaction changed all of a sudden and with a eyes full of sympathy she questioned me about how long am I married. I lied to her that it's just been one year. But, yet her expressions were as if it was a big mistake of mine that I am not yet producing a kid.
I have had it enough by constantly listening to my own Mother, my In-laws, and other elderly people trying to emotional blackmail me by saying that, they don't have much time left in this world as they are ageing and hence they want to see their grandchild as early as possible. Like really? I can write for days together on this topic and yet have so many things unsaid, but I think its enough for today. I just want to conclude this post by saying that, if ever I plan for a child then it's going to be just because of a social pressure on me and not because I wanted to.